And the world keeps turning

My body is infuriating. My period is 16 days late (best test ever to fail: pregnancy test). I was full of shit for about 2 weeks. I gained weight. Acne is taking over my face. Rashes are happening all over my body. Fever blisters are bubbling up on my lip. It’s all embarrassing and awful. I want to stay in bed and cry until it’s all over; until my body calms the fuck down and starts functioning like a healthy human body. I want the world to stop until I’m healthy.

I’m trying so hard. Am I doing everything wrong? I have no idea. All I want to do is cry. All I can do is try. I won’t give up. Giving up will make everything worse.

I’m upping my intake which I think might help the lack of period situation. And boost my metabolism which will help with all muffin that is going on in my top. And thunder that’s raging in my thighs. And bulgy that’s going on in my hips. I’m starting to take probiotics and L-Glutamine which, so far, are improving my shituation. I’m also hoping this will improve my acne as long as I keep my diet clear of gluten, dairy and…alcohol. Eating more may also help the rashes. From getting more fat? I’m guessing/hoping. I have no idea. The fever blisters…are a matter of time. I just keep my lip slathered with carmex and abreva.

Time. My cousins engagement party is this saturday. And I’m gonna have grossness on my lip all front and center and look at me! So embarrassing. This party also makes it difficult to increase my intake because I’ve been drilling “less calories is better” into my head since forever. I’m afraid that I’ll gained 20 lbs by the time of the party. 

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